There are three aspects to a person’s confidence.
Confidence In Yourself
Let’s admit that almost no one can truly know the appropriate level of confidence they should have in themselves. We lie to ourselves either embellishing how good we are or minimizing how good we are.
80% of drivers think they are better than average. That is not mathemtically possible. This is also why there are so many accidents in bad weather; overconfidence.
Confidence is only based on the reality we form, which is why those that have low self-confidence need to understand it can be changed.
If you follow through with what you say you will do, that’s the main level of confidence. Pushing through the fear and frustration, is another level.
There are some people who are great bakers but terrible cooks and vice versa. They believe they will figure out one but don’t have trust in themselves that they can figure out the other. This is the hallmark of confidence in yourself, figureoutability.
This is what differentiates it from the other types of confidence. The confident person believes they will figure it out. That belief allows them to continue.
Confidence In Your Abilities/Skills/Tools
People who lack confidence in themselves will lean in on their skills. This can easily get into a cycle of “just learning one more thing” but still feeling they are not confident enough. This is also called The Toolbox Fallacy.
This can lead to take class after class, buying book after book and just never getting started.
Or, if they do believe in just the skill and it doesn’t work, everything crashes. If you think you kill it with CMA’s or negotation but it backfires, your confidence will crash if you lack confidence in yourself.
Confidence In Your Network
This is the other place that people lean on heavily when they don’t have confidence in themselves.
Some people join teams in part to have the confidence in their network. Think of it as your support group. If you have an amazing collection of inspectors, your broker, lenders, title people, etc., that is very helpful in confidence.
When you feel alone, your confidence will likely go down as well.
The Most Important Of The Three
Of all of these, the first is the most important and the one that needs the most focus.
I think understanding these different elements helps you label where your confidence is high or low and then adjust. When we just say, “I don’t feel confident.”, that’s not enough to help us work on it. Just like telling a doctor you don’t feel well isn’t enough to diagnose the issue.
Lacking confidence in your “figureoutability” leaves the other two on shaky ground as it is your main source of action.
There are many ways to build your confidence. If you want to work on that with me, book a call.
