One day, my entire group got “tricked” by psychology (and some magic) and I didn’t know whether or not to tell them what was happening. At that moment, it made me very aware that I had been fighting psychology instead of using it properly to reach people.
First, let me take you back. Overall, I’ve been a very skeptical person most of my life. On top of that, I hate to be tricked. Both are rooted in security and vulnerability. Put those together and you have the beginning of why I study psychology. I loved to tell my friends about whatever psychological prinicple I had learned. It was like giving away magician tricks to help people not be fooled.
Eventually I was doing things void of any psychological principles because it felt manipulative. And it didn’t work because I wasn’t tapping into their psychology. I used a lot of facts and logic but we are not logical creatures as much as we would like to think we are.
We say that hate pop-up ads but they work. We hate commericals but they work. Women say they hate pickup lines, but they work. Bombastic promises seem to be empty but they work.
Case in point, a sales person did all of this empty, showy presentation and people ate it up! People paid for the course and I was in disbelief. It was so obvious to me that it was hollow, how could they go for it? Surely they would feel ripped off at the end, right? Nope, I see people singing the praises of that charlatan. You will understand why when I get back to my group story.
How often to politicians say anything of substance to a question? None. We still vote them.
If you are not using psychology, you are putting an extra barrier in your way. Imagine if you just proposed to every attractive person you met. That wouldn’t work. Or if it did, look out! There is a process to getting the attention and into the mind of the people you want to reach. Don’t be like me and make it harder than it needs to be.
For those of us that are so worried about being manipulative, you chose how you use it. I use psychology for people to hit their goals, not mine. Then it’s not an issue.
Let’s look at some pyschology that you might be fighting:
- Emojis are a bit of contention but it’s proven to help make the tone of the message more clear
- Skipping “hooks” on videos reduces your views
- Treating people only the way you want to be treated is backfiring 2/3rds of the time
- Not treating your friends professionally might be why they aren’t working with you
- Being late signals to many people that you aren’t respectful
- Under/Over dressing to your client’s attire puts you at a distance
- Not finding the preferred communication method with clients frustrates them
- Not meeting an online lead face-to-face bumps the likelihood you will lose them
- Only giving facts with no story or vice versa
- And lastly, your own mindset.
These are just some of the ways you might be putting yourself at a disadvantage.
Back to my group experience. A guy came in and was talking about energy and these bracelets that had been “vibrated” at a special frequency for a period of time by some guru. Supposedly wearing them would give your body that frequency. It was a very captivating story of how they bracelets were made.
Few people took that at face value and, of course, he had a test. Each person could find a bracelet they liked, try it on and the presenter would do a stregth test. The test is to hold out your arm and see if the presenter can pull it down. It was impressive. You could tell both parties were straining.
Person after person did this and were amazed, and sold. One of the my buddies grabbed me and asked me if this was for real. We went around the corner so I could quietly explain what was happening. It has to do with direction of force but it isn’t noticeable by the subject or audience.
Here’s why I didn’t break the illusion. They believed it worked so it did. I checked in on people throughout the year that wored those wristbands. They said they had more energy, woke up more alert and other things.
I could have told them what has happening but that would have ruined it.
I could have told them they could just feel better with a new mindset or belief but they likely have heard that before. I let their psychology help them out.
What psychological principles did I use in this you may be wondering? I used four. I created a hook in the first sentence to make you wonder. I stopped the story to open a loop that your mind wants closed which is why you read this far. I use bolding to help stop you from skimming too far. I did a list to make even more speed bumps. 🙂
It works and if I hadn’t used it, you wouldn’t have made it this far.
